Genesis 2: | 18: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a help meet for him.” |
1 Corinthians 7: | 32: “But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34: There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35: And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” |
1 Corinthians 7: | 7: “For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8: I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” |
QUESTION: (2) Is it a sin for a married man to take a second wife?
No one can read the Scriptures without realizing that Yahweh's ideal
is that each man should have only one wife. God's directive
to kings, those most likely to have more than one wife, is:
Deuteronomy 17: | 17:“Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away:“ |
Having said this, however, we are still faced with the question: Is it a sin for a believer to take unto himself a second wife, especially in view of situations where barrenness, war, sickness or a declining male birth rate etc., throw the fine balance of 50 males to 50 females out of line? What do the Scriptures tell us of this delicate issue? In the Scriptures, even though the ideal state is one man to one woman, it was not condemned as sin for a man of Israel to have two wives at the same time. Some famous men in Scripture had more than one wife and, to our knowledge, they were not condemned as sinners. Examples are: Jacob, Gideon, Elkanah (the father of the prophet Samuel) King Rehoboam and King David. I do, however, find instances where the Almighty strongly condemns divorce or the putting away of a wife.
Malachi 2: | 14: “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15: And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16: For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:” |
In some countries a man is still allowed by civil law to have
more than one wife. In Canada, and Britain this practice is
against the civil law. If a man in the west wants to marry a
second wife, he is obliged to divorce (put away) the
first before he can take the second. This practice of divorcing
one’s wife is strongly condemned in the Scriptures. God
hates it. But back to the question. Is it a sin for a
believer to take a second wife?
Answer:
Strictly speaking, polygamy is not classified as a sin: but most
certainly it is not meeting Yahweh's original plan of one man to one
wife. In other words, men with two or more wives are NOT following
the Almighty’s plan and ideal of one wife to each man.
Mark 10: | 4: “And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5: And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6: But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8: And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” |
True believers should, therefore, attune themselves to follow Yahweh’s original standard of one man to one woman and not program themselves into thinking that if they are unhappy with the first partner they can freely put her away and marry a second. That course - all too popular these days - leads to untold misery in the household and is a recipe for family and social disaster. Believing men, in short, should aim to have only one wife and only take a second in very exceptional circumstances. If in those exceptional circumstances a second marriage is entered upon, the first wife should not be put away or divorced. The following conditions must also be met before the second union can be recognized as a proper marriage.
1 Timothy 3: | 1: “This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2: A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;” |
Titus 1: | 5: “For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee: 6: If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. 7: For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; 8: But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; 9: Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.” |
QUESTION: (3) Should a man with two wives divorce one of
them when he becomes a believer?
As stated above, the advice given in this article is based on
the Scriptures. It goes beyond the conflicting civil laws of
many nations and deals with the subject of marriage from the
vantage point of Holy Writ; taking for its examples Bible
characters whose lives are commented on for all to examine.
To the question which heads this section my answer is no. A
man with two wives should not be required to put away or
divorce one wife when he becomes a Christian. The reasons
are as follows.
Malachi 2: | 16: “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away...” |
QUESTION: (4) Should a married believer separate from an unbelieving
partner?
Again the answer is no: not merely because God hates divorce or
“putting away,” but because of the amazing spiritual
considerations referred to in this passage of Scripture.
1 Corinthians 7: | 10: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12: But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” |
This passage teaches us that an unbelieving partner is sanctified by his/her believing partner. Divorce breaks this spiritual link and its accompanying blessing. There are, of course, occasions where a total breakdown of the marriage occurs; when life has become a living hell for the wife or husband. In these cases a separation is permitted: but not a separation in order to remarry another partner.
1 Corinthians 7: | 15: “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16: For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” |
QUESTION: (5) Should a married woman who is the second
(or subsequent) wife of an unbelieving husband leave her
husband when she becomes a believer?
Once again our answer is, No she shouldn’t.
She may be the second or third wife of the unbelieving man
- it matters not: if he wants to keep her as his wife, she
should stay with him for the reasons given above. There is
no Scripture that requires her to leave him for another. If,
however, because of unbearable conditions imposed on
her, she chooses to leave, she may do so: but she will
thereafter need to stay single or be reconciled to her
husband. She is not allowed to marry another man as long
as her former husband is alive.
Romans 7: | 1: “Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law), how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2: For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.” |
1 Corinthians 7: | 10: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” |
The above instructions were penned to believers in Rome and Corinth where (as at the present in most countries) capital punishment was not meted out for adultery. Examples of women who were one of two or more wives are:
QUESTION: (6) Should a Christian girl agree to become the
wife of an unbeliever?
Believers should choose partners who are believers; partners
who are as near to their own spiritual grade as possible. Marriages
of believers with unbelievers is not recommended in the Scriptures.
Untold trouble and frustration will be avoided if this single
guideline is followed.
2 Corinthians 6: | 14: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15: And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16: And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” |
Young believers often worry about the shortage of Christian partners of their age. Their fears are groundless. He who rules all heaven and earth knows exactly how to organize partnerships. Marriages as amazing as Isaac’s and Rebekah’s - and every bit as happy - are possible today. (See Genesis chapters 23 & 24) Yahweh has advised that believers should marry believers, and you may be sure that He is well able to implement His will in the lives of those who are eager to obey Him. Christian girls should, therefore, not rush into marriage with unbelievers. On the other hand they should not expect perfection from the men they meet when they themselves are far from perfect. Rest assured that the Almighty knows each one's need and He will meet it in His time: and far more effectively than the young imagine.
QUESTION: (7) Should a believer agree to become the wife of a
believer who already has another (living) wife?
The answer is No. This question/answer is included here for
the benefit of Christian girls in countries where polygamy is accepted
by civil law. To become the second or third wife of any man,
however good he may appear to be, is asking for trouble. As a second
wife you may be the favourite for a few years: but sooner or later
you will find yourself scrambling for attention.
QUESTION: (8) Is a woman allowed to have more than one
husband?
The answer is No. According to divine law a woman is not
allowed to have two husbands at the same time. In other words
she must wait till her first husband is dead before marrying a
second. Nor is there a single example in the Scriptures of a godly
Israelite woman who had two husbands at the same time.
Romans 7: | 1: “Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law), how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2: For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3: So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” |